So this is how things went down (note that this is for my record as well, so there is some detail. If thinking about birthing makes you queasy, feel free to just look at the baby pictures).
Early morning March 12 I started experiencing contractions. They were lasting about 40 to 60 seconds and were anywhere from 3 minutes apart to 8 minutes. Although they certainly averaged around 5. My handy App made me think that this was getting started! At 7 am David and I got up and I explained the situation to him and we figured that today would be the day. He emailed work and just kind of shot the breeze as the contractions were still more or less all over the place. Then we had the great idea to do some Hypnobirthing to relax us before heading out (and to wait for the contractions to become a bit more regular). Well it was so relaxing that the contractions stopped completely. I maybe had one more at 9 am but it was really nothing.
I was kind of bummed and mad. I was excited to get the show on the road and on my lucky day! So I had a shower and did my hair and put on full makeup. It was spite makeup because if I couldn't have my baby I would at least look good!
At 11am my sister came over to do my nails. She did a cute baby theme (she's really good at nails!) and painted my toes to match the baby room. My mom came too and we figured this would be a good way to take my mind off my enormous, uncomfortable belly.
I wanted to show Michelle the baby bonnet that I had made for Gabriella and went down to the nursery. On my way back I felt a gush like I had to pee, but I couldn't hold it - it just kept coming! I just stood in the hall and said "I think my water broke". My mom and David came upstairs (because they were looking at the water that had come in our basement) and I called Labour and Delivery to confirm that it was time to go in. Although I hadn't had a contraction in a while they said I should go in.
Then my mom suggested that we get some food since it was just after lunch (1:00). I wanted to eat something that would taste yummy when I inevitably puked so we headed to Jugo Juice in Kingway mall. I was so glad that I had my hospital list and bags packed so we didn't forget anything.
At 2:30 we checked into the assessment area of the Royal Alex Hospital. There was really only a short wait and while I wasn't an urgent case (since I wasn't having contractions, still) they saw to me quite quickly. My OB was walking through and said hello and joked that he might get to deliver my baby. At 3:30 I was all hooked up to the monitors and they checked my fluid and found out that Ellie had pooped and there was meconium in the amniotic fluid. Her heart beat was a bit flat, which was a bit of a concern. Later it was determined that this was because she didn't like being monitored when I lay on my left side. I was super concerned because the meconium usually comes if a baby is stressed or if she had a really full bowel. However, once we started monitoring her with me laying on my back, she was super steady and didn't seem to be in distress. I also became know as the "Meconium Lady in bed 3" to the nurses when they talked about me:
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| Walking around to start contractions? |
Up to this point I was terrified of being induced because so many people had a horrible time of it and just got a c-section anyways. I asked if I could just jump to a section and they laughed and said no I'd have to work my way up. So I walked the halls and danced around and played monopoly on David's computer in hopes of starting contractions. No dice. My mom and David were with me the whole time and were great at keeping my spirits up as we got our sporadic updates. I had brought knitting to keep me entertained but I couldn't knit without really aggravating my IV (making the hole stretch and get red) which really just frustrated me more. By this point I had been at the hospital for 5 hours and I was really tired of waiting. My mom and David tired to keep me sane but I was holding on by a thread.
At 8pm they finally got the show on the road. My induction IV was set up and I walked over with all our stuff to L&D. Our nurse met us there and walked us through the process; she read through my birth plan and clarified any parts that they wouldn't be able to follow (for example they couldn't put the baby on my belly since NICU would be taking her right away to assess the damage/trauma/permeation of the meconium in her lungs). I let her know that I'd like to try and labour as best I can without intervention but that I'd be open to them as things got tough.
At 9pm contractions started. And they were WAAAY more intense than I thought they would be. And further evidence that what I had in the morning was not at all enough to actually start labour. Contractions were coming consistently 2-3 minutes apart and for 30-40 seconds. David would talk me through them and I would breathe and then I would try walking around. They sucked. At 10pm I started trying to use the gas but it really didn't do anything but take my focus away from breathing (which is weird because you're supposed to breathe the gas). For each contraction I needed to be super super focused and would rock back and forth. Any noise or questions were irritating or ignored. David helped with the hypnobirthing techniques but it wasn't like he could get through a full dialogue between contractions.
At 11 I decided that an epidural was in order, especially since I was only 5cm dilated and they predicted that I would labour for about 5 more hours. (Side note: one of the things I didn't want was lots of checks to see how far along I was, I was really pleased that a) they didn't want to check often since I didn't have my water to protect from germs, and b) they didn't check much because they said there were enough external clues to say how far I was progressing that it was really unnecessary). So they called for the anaesthesiologist (who is probably everyone's favourite doctor) and he explained what he was going to do. I knew that it was very important to hold still and he worked quick enough to get in in between contractions. It hurt waaay less getting the epidural than having the contractions and the relief felt almost instantaneous. I did need a few top ups but the idea was that I would rest for the 5 hours until I was fully dilated.
I didn't really rest, there was a lot going on/coming up so I just lay quietly with my eyes shut thinking peaceful thoughts. Around 1:50am I noticed that I was getting feeling back on my left side. I thought this might be because I was laying on my right but rolling to my left was not so good for baby (as before), so they slightly increased the epi a bit and I lay on my back. But the feeling persisted and I was also starting to even get some feeling in my back. The feeling definitely coincided with my contractions and it wasn't unbearable but just more than I had experienced earlier. The whole time throughout, I wish to note, that I could really feel quite a lot. I could wiggle my toes and feel David stroking my leg. I liked the idea of being able to feel my body so that I could time my contractions with my pushes when they came up (as this was one of the criticisms I'd heard about the epidural).
The nurse then decided to check me because getting feeling back can be a sign that I was fully dilated. She checked and I was - it was time to push and I was 2 hours ahead of schedule. Part of me was excited about this because it meant baby was coming soon. But part of me was also bummed because my OB delivers all babies born after 6am and it was only 2am (though I had no reason to doubt the on call doctor since he was part of my OB's team and they all seemed pretty great).
Since I could feel my contractions I knew when to push and my two fantastic nurses and David were right there to help me focus my efforts. At 2:17 I started pushing and pushing and pushing. The nurses had told me that with an induction it can take 2-3 hours of pushing, however, when they felt how much progress I made with each push they didn't think it would take that long. They said I had great pushes - thanks yoga for making me more aware of my "mula bundha"! Tiny bean worked her way down her birth canal, they could see her head and then I just couldn't make progress. I felt like I was just working the same territory over and over. While I really didn't have any concept of time, I did know that I was getting tired and frustrated. After 3 hours of pushing I wasn't any closer, they weren't ready to call the OB since the baby wasn't in any distress (the whole time her little heart beat like it was any other day; textbook healthy), and my back had started to hurt something terrible. The bean was stuck and I needed help. I also needed my back to hurt less.
Then at that moment my least favourite resident walked in to check things (we'd had a run in in December when I had a worry about the baby and she was the worst with no bedside manner and aggressive "search" methods). That just made me panic more. However, after some deliberation, it was determined that they would use the vacuum to take her the rest of the way as she was positioned perfectly for delivery (just not by my power alone).
At 5:10 my epi was topped up (though I was briefed that I still needed to push my best and couldn't just coast through this procedure). At 5:15 they put the vacuum on the bean's head and 2 pushes later she was free at 5:33 am. She let out a huge cry when she was free and was looking a bit blue. David followed her over to the NICU team where they vacuumed her lungs and nose and mouth (and she cried through it all of course - you probably would too). Overall she did great getting 8/9 on her apgar (losing 1 for colouring). And David got to hold her.
I required a little work (thankfully my belly was still big and obscured the business going on). It took the doctors a bit of time to stitch things up but I only had a 2 degree tear (bucket handle kind for those who know). At this point I am feeling great! I can't feel what they're doing and I've pushed out a baby! Which means no more pushing! David was a bit worried because apparently there was a lot of blood. But I was feeling good. By 5:55 I was able to hold and cuddle the bean. David brought her over (he got the first hold after she was done with the NICU and I didn't want to hold her until I was feeling more stable and less likely to drop her). We spent some time cuddling as a little family and then my mom came to the doorway where she was waiting in the hall and got to hold Gabriella.
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| First Snuggles |
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| Summing our faces perfectly |
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| Loves sucking her hands from the start |
My OB stopped in at 6am and joked that he didn't expect to see me here still but was happy to see everything was good and offer his congratulations.
After an hour's rest and a nice warm shower (walking over on my Bambi legs) and packing up our things, we went down to obstetrics to recover. Typically they have you stay 24 hours so I would be staying overnight and leaving the next day. Sadly I was in a semi-private room so I knew that I would also be spending the night without David (no overnight visitors, though they are pretty lax on the visiting hours for postpartum).
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| In our room for the day and night |
The 13th was a long disoriented day of realizing that I was responsible for this baby, visits from my family (and my mom stayed to hold her so that I could rest comfortably). David, poor thing, had a interview that day so he had to leave for morning and afternoon to get some rest. Frankly, I think it was best because we all needed some rest. In the evening I was visited by my family Shannah, Kayty and my father in law. She was also further inspected by a paediatrician and given her first bath (though not until late so she spent a large portion of the day with messy hair)
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| Weighed and ready for the day |
During the day I tried to nurse the little Bean but my colostrum had not come through so we gave her some formula (I later found out we gave her way too much). By evening I was able to nurse her physically but we still had to work on the actual conveyance of the product. This meant a few tearful calls to the nurses on duty. Being alone with your baby is really terrifying when they are crying and you're not sure how to get the food in. But there was a great nurse who introduced me to a hold that worked perfect for us - football! My night nurse was ridiculously unhelpful, but Ellie and I got some sleep in between nursing attempts. Ellie and I also got some much appreciated skin to skin time.
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| Going Home outfit |
Over the next week I would have my mom here for huge chunks of time to watch the baby while I napped; have friends and family prepare delicious meals and goodie bags and the support of friends as I tried to figure our nursing and bathing and how to keep this tiny human alive. I don't think I could have made it this far without my mom or David switching off with me. Or especially Brittney who came over my first night home and stayed until 2:30am showing me how to nurse and have Ellie latch properly. And then she checked in with me regularly over the next week, showing me how to baby wear and providing care packages and nursing troubleshooting. When they say it takes a village, that's for real. I am so so grateful for everyone's selfless generosity as we embark on this great adventure. It's made the adjustment a lot easier.
Now Ellie is one week old! Her face is already changing as she grows and I am more in love with each day. I have to keep reminding myself that no pattern is set in 7 days and that she can change it up anytime and that advice is good, but I know my baby best.
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| Snuggling at 1 week old |
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| Snuggling with daddy |
Overall, I can't say I'll do this all again anytime soon, but I'm certainly happy with how the birth went and the end result. Gabriella has certainly stolen my heart!
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