But before I note the birth details, to look back on the 3rd trimester.
Now I know that very few pregnant ladies enjoy the 3rd trimester. And I was no exception. The baby was big and bony and it was very difficult to bend over or pick things up or put on shoes/socks/pants/tights. I also realized that I don't have nearly enough long maternity dresses so I could avoid the pants/tights troubles.
However, despite getting progressively more and more uncomfortable, I was actually really ok with staying pregnant. In order to get ready for the new baby and also to just help Ellie move things along, life-wise, she was potty trained and sleeping through the night. Both of these two achievements were not without significant effort (though substantially less than we thought we'd need on the sleeping piece) and we were really enjoying the way things were. I still had the pregnancy insomnia so it wasn't like I was getting more sleep, but I knew that we wouldn't be waking up because of Ellie and she was also much happier because of it. We also got her a Gro Clock, so she was also not usually (about 50-50) waking up before 7am. Life was the most comfortable it had been in a long while and I wasn't really in a hurry to change things.
Also work was going well - I knew what was expected of me and people expected a lot less since I was leaving soon. Ellie was doing really well in daycare. David and I had a routine. Church callings were manageable.
So I knew that having a baby was going to change all of the status quo and I wasn't entirely on board. Mind you being 7 months pregnant isn't really the time to change your mind either. So I was having some anxiety about the changes. And I was having anxiety about repeating Ellie's birth experience (which wasn't bad, but wasn't easy either).
During the 3rd trimester, I really focused on relaxing, praying and surrendering control when I could. Thankfully I was starting to come around and near the end I was getting excited to meet the little nugget.
ALSO, at the beginning of March, when talking to my OB, I discovered that my due date was actually March 29 NOT April 1 (as I had previously calculated). Apparently, it had been this way since my 12 week ultrasound, but I don't think anyone actually told me. So this meant that I had to rearrange my leave from work (since I had previously intended for March 24 to be my last day) and ensure there was proper coverage (and that I had worked enough hours to cover my top up requirement from my last mat leave). It was a bit chaotic and even though it was only 3 days, it was a big difference to me. Mind you, I didn't think Sloan would actually come on his due date. I figured somewhere between April 2 and 10. Little did I know.
So that was the 3rd trimester: uncomfortable, but in no hurry to change things, excited to meet him, but worried about getting everything done in time.
So my last day of work was March 22. I had the 23 and 24 to make my 28 freezer meals. Then Easter weekend with Ellie (which is not a break at all) and then on March 29, it was time to really enjoy my mat leave.
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| Due date photo - except (spoiler) it's after my water broke, so the belly is a bit smaller |
7:03 am on March 29, Ellie calls out "the sun is up" and I jump out of bed to get her up. Only I feel a volume of liquid leave my body. Now this being my second pregnancy, liquid leaving my body unannounced isn't exactly a unique phenomena but it keeps coming and I can't keep it in. Thankfully we've put a waterproof protector on our mattress so I hop on our bed and let the water flow. And there is a lot of water. I let David know that my water has broken and he starts getting Ellie ready. I call my parents to let them know that their day is going to be different too.
I guess we're having the baby today.
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| Hospital Selfie! |
After I have stemmed the tide, I call labour and delivery to let them know my water has broken and they advise me to make my way in, but that it's no rush. Previously, I had planned to get my makeup done at Sephora and spend my due date getting pampered, so I take this time to shower and fully do my hair and makeup. I know now, that it might be a while before I feel like doing both so I really relish in the moment. David is awesome and playing with Ellie and packing up our bags.
Around 9, we take Ellie over to daycare to get her day started and she is pretty sad. I think she knows that today is an important day. Maybe she doesn't exactly know that the baby is coming today, but she has a hard time going into school and I have to stay and play with her a while.
After we head over to my parents house to drop off a car with car seats so it's easier to manage Ellie's pickup. And my mom makes me a protein packed smoothie. We take some pictures. I'm hoping for contractions, but it's really quiet in the womb - the baby is moving a bit, but nothing else is really happening.
At 11 we show up at Labour and Delivery to get assessed. Sure enough my water has broken. The test stick was super positive. Since my water is broken, they will only check to see how far along about 3 times. When I'm assessed, I'm not very far - about 3 cm, but seem ready to progress. They monitor the baby who seems as happy as a clam in there. There are signs of uterine activity, but I'm not feeling a thing.
Over the next couple of hours I provided my history, met with my OB and walked around a bit. After looking at where things were at, we decided that an induction would be happening. Since my water had broken (and I had lost so much water) they didn't want me to go home and wait for contractions and since they didn't come on naturally with Ellie, I figured we may as well get the show on the road. David went out to get my last meal (yummy Greek) and I did some meditations to get my head in the game.
Oh I also made sure everyone knew that if I was getting induced then I was also absolutely going to get an epidural. I knew what induction contractions were like and they were not fun (though I imagine all contractions aren't particularly lovely).
After putting in the IV (which, in my opinion, is the very worst part of the whole delivery process), I started on the drip and I just got to rest while they slowly upped my dosage. This was at 2:20pm.
At this point I am still in assessment, and not in the formal delivery room, so I have the option of walking around and doing my thing. Contractions did start while I was resting, but they were relatively mild and not particularly regular, so we got up to walk around. At this time I have the upcoming pushing in the back of my mind. Last time I pushed for 3 hours and I really didn't have enough energy to keep going at the end, so I really wanted to rest up and not exhaust myself early on.
For the next two hours I do more of the same. The contractions are getting more intense, and I definitely had to stop and breathe through them and do a little contraction dance. At 4:15 they take myself and another lady over to labour and delivery, since there are now rooms open (the hospital I deliver at is always super busy for babies - and particularly high risk moms and babies, so it sometimes takes some time to get a room).
Once I am in the room, I have an internal debate about whether to get the epidural now or later. I can still breathe through the contractions, and my mom massaging my back was really helpful, and I like the option of being able to walk around (I cannot sit while experiencing a contraction). But I also know I want one eventually because if I have to push for 3 hours again I won't have the energy for pain management and pushing. I decide to just go for it, plus it takes a bit for the anethesiologist to be available, so I still get some more time to labour on my own.
At 5 pm he's got the epidural in and oh the sweet relief. I didn't realize how much I was focusing on breathing and staying calm that after I didn't have to, there was so so much euphoria. It felt amazing!
Over the next two hours I relax and probably even drift off to sleep for a bit. I try to keep moving around so that my bum doesn't go numb (since I wouldn't be able to tell if it did), however, if I move onto my sides the baby's heartbeat either elevates quite a bit or drops, so I stick to reclined. I did feel like the epidural was a bit stronger this time and I was worried about not feeling when it was time to push - but they reassured me they could easily turn it down, but turning it up required the anesthesiologiest, so best to just rest.
At 6:40 the OB (not my OB since I seem to always have my babies after his shift, but an equally nice fellow in the same practice) comes by and checks and I'm at 6 cm (this was only my 2nd check the whole time I've been there, so I was pretty curious to see how things were progressing). I do warn them that last time the final few centimetres go pretty quick, but they bring down my hopes and tell me it will probably be another hour before I'm near to 10 cm (side note: they had a chart inside one of the cupboards that I caught a glance at with the different diameters - 10 cm is realllllyyy wide).
Just after 7pm, I'm starting to feel some weird pressure. Not the same pressure I had with Ellie telling me to push, but some side pressure near my pelvis that was throbbing with my contractions. The nurse had obviously seen this before so she knew that I was actually getting close. She checked and I was at 9.5cm. A little massaging and I was at 10! All by 7:10! A couple of light pushes and the baby is in position
Now I'm totally gearing up to be pushing for 3 hours but they are getting me more vertical and the nurse suggests that I might have this baby by 8pm! I'm pretty skeptical and it showed in my pushing. For the first few pushes, I'll admit I wasn't very committed, I was pushing with my face but not really with my body. I just didn't think I could make it that long if I did a full effort. But my nurse is awesome and she's coaching me and David holds my leg and we start to get things going efficiently.
It honestly felt like maybe 5-6 contractions and his head was showing. The nurse was lovely and commenting on his hair colour and the more she helped me feel like this was actually going to happen the better I became at pushing. Eventually she edits her prediction to having the baby by 7:45! I was going to meet my baby so soon. A few more pushes and he's out!
The resident catches little Sloan and holds him for the delayed cord clamping (which we couldn't do with Ellie because of her poopy lungs) and then David gets to cut the cord. After they put the little nugget on my chest (another first!) and I get to hold him. I kept saying "I made this, I made this!" He gets to rest on us and we take pictures. A few stitches that I don't even notice because I am so excited to be holding my baby.
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| Fresh baby snuggles |
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| First family photo |
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| Getting weighed |
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| All wrapped for more cuddles |
It was so quick and wonderful! Easier and much less exhausting when you only push for 30 minutes.
That night we were able to stay in the family suite room (it costs extra but you only get it if it's available and priority goes to families who might be staying more than one night), so we really lucked out. It has a lot of space and room for David and I to sleep with Sloan in the bassinet beside. My sister came to visit and David took the baby for all his measurements.
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| Sloan Gregory Erik Lancaster |
The night was pretty peaceful as we were all quite exhausted, even Sloan. So he didn't wake up too often to nurse (I think he was sleeping about 3 hours at a time) and the nurses were very conscientious and didn't wake me up for my blood pressure if I was sleeping. It was nice.
Then the next morning Ellie came to meet her brother and she was smitten. At first she was a little overwhelmed and nervous but she very quickly took to holding Sloan because he was "her baby." I was so relieved that she wasn't angry or mad about him joining our family.
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| Ellie meeting her brother |
Once Ellie got bored my parents took her to play at Costco and David and I got to rest and chill with Sloan. They didn't want us to leave until he had at least 2 good nursing sessions (since he had been so drowsy the night before), so we slowly packed up, I showered, and enjoyed our last bit of quiet time.
Our first parenting win came when we did the carseat check on our way out. The nurse was like "oh you must be second time parents, the carseat is perfect." If that is the only thing we do perfect for the next little while, I'll take it.
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| Going home outfit with his hospital hat and mitts and boots I made for him |
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| Rocking the carseat and his wool cozy |
Now we are just adjusting to life with a newborn. Ellie is still in daycare full time for April and then part time for May and June, so I'm able to get more rest. Sloan has not decided if he would rather be a long sleeper or a frequent eater. Nursing was a bit of a learning curve for Sloan and I, since he is brand new to this and he is already so different than Ellie (Ellie would nurse both sides in the time it takes Sloan to nurse one). It also took about 4 days for my milk to come in (which I don't remember with Ellie) so there were some frustrating nights as well. Plus I did not remember that the 2nd night home is when the baby finally realizes that there is no going back to the comfort of the womb and they are not happy. Oy! That night was rough (with Ellie I was in the hospital for that night so I thought that was just how being in the hospital was).
I have had a tonne of support and yummy meals provided so even though I have no idea what to do with a newborn, I actually think I might be able to swing this. It is tricky balancing my need/desire to spend quality time with Ellie but also make sure the Sloan is looked after and loved as well. I'm not great at multi-tasking "being present" and I'm not sure that can even be done, so I'm just trying my best to make sure no one is neglected (David included).
I also have really noticed that there are somethings that I am doing very differently with Sloan than Ellie. With Ellie she really got to drive the routine and the schedule, I didn't try to mould her but instead went with what she wanted. Thankfully she wanted a relatively strict schedule. With Sloan I am a lot more comfortable waking him up so that he eats more during the day and then putting him to sleep (as best you can with a newborn) so that he's not awake for too long. He's a lot more easy going already so I think he doesn't mind too much.
Early on Sloan gave us a couple of 4 hour stretches at night but it meant that they didn't start until midnight or 1 am and that he cluster fed up until then. I did not like the new very late bedtime, especially being up with Ellie at 7am. So I've taken to not letting him sleep more than 3 hours during the day and not "letting" him stay awake more than an hour so that he's well fed and doesn't get overtired. Fortunately for the last two nights (which I know is hardly a pattern when it comes to a newborn), he's not had his 7-1am witching hour, but he's not slept more than 3 hours at a time either. I'm not entirely sure how to get him to eat a lot without the associated overtired fussies before bed so that we can get those longer stretches again. But frankly the fussiness wears on my nerves much faster than the frequent wake-ups. So we'll see where this goes.
The physical recovery is going well but there have been some permanent changes that I will have to make peace with. I am certainly going to go back to physio because it was so helpful last time. All of it is a small price to pay for some pretty dang adorable children.
Speaking of adorable children - Sloan has much more of a Horne face but he totally has David's nose. He also looks so much like a boy. I just adore his little face. With Ellie I was falling in love with her at the same time coming to terms with the fact that I was now a parent and my life would never be the same. With Sloan, I am already in acceptance with being a parent so I just get to fall in love with him - much easier.
Lastly, a note on Sloan's name. Originally we were going to name him Sloan Gregory Awesome Lancaster. However, when it came to finally decide, we prayed about it and felt that he should have a name that reflects both sides of the family (Gregory is David's dad's name), so his name is Sloan Gregory Erik Lancaster (Erik for my dad). Also the name Sloan we chose because at first we were thinking James, but it just didn't seem to suit this baby, so we went through the book my parents used to name us and came across the name Sloan. We like the Canadian band Sloan; we had a nephew named Beck; Sloan seemed like a cool guy name and it really does suit him. Some nicknames he has already: Nugget, Sloany Baloney, Little Sir, Mister Man.
And I think that's all. Everything I have thought about this baby, how he came into the world and where we are at now. Also a personal thank you to the nurses at the Royal Alex who were truly amazing - they really know their craft and it meant that I had excellent patient care during a very intense event. Especially my Labour & Delivery nurse, Kristina, who was so thorough and organized and exact that I absolutely trusted my delivery with her. I had great nurses last time, so it was awesome to see that it wasn't a fluke but reflects a knowledgable staff. But I also think I lucked out to have the nurse that I needed when I needed her.
Ok that's all for real now. If you read this all, well done you. And here are some photos of our family so far.
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| Daddy being the best |
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| First walk in the carrier (day 4 - an a bit too long of a walk for where my body was at) |
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| Grammie loving more grandbabies (and Ellie's best attempt a smile) |
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| Classic Sloan face - those eyes always looking into my soul |
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| Daddy multi-tasking |
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| He had his first bath at home on Sunday and once he was in the water he actually really really liked it |
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